Crappy Mom Day...

So many times I feel as if everyone only shares their "glorious" moments on blogs... I have recently found another blog that really comforts me in motherhood as this woman comments on her "faults" with her own children... and the fact that she is human and gets irritated and makes "bad choices" herself.

Today was just one of those days for me... for a while I've been feeling very overwhelmed.  That coupled with lack of sleep, the nausea that I'm still having, and the running around I've been doing for Grace's party, pictures and all that good stuff.

Wouldn't you know it... the kids both took crappy naps today (Jacob totaled one hour... Grace 2.5 (neither of which are normal for them!)).  Once they got up they were in relatively good spirits until it came time to eat.  No one wanted to eat...UGH.  Mind you we had our picture appointment tonight in which I was attempting to capture way too many moments (spring pics, Jacob 3.5 years, Grace 2 years, and maternity pictures). Jacob seemed excited about the pictures, showing me his adorable smile and getting all handsome with hair spikes and all. Grace wanted to wear Jacob's shoes, do her own hair and try to burn her finger on my curling iron.  Needless to say she was in tears before we even left... she was not liking her shoes... still wanting Jacob's! Once we got there everyone seemed to be doing good again... Mommy even had a breather in the car with a nice peaceful ride on the way there.  When we went to start the pictures no one wanted to go first.  Jacob wanted Grace to go and she wanted nothing to do with that.  We finally convinced Jacob to go first and he was totally uncooperative.  Not smiling, putting his hands by his face, and wiggling his feet all around.  Then came Grace... we tried them together, got a couple of good pics.  We then did some changing and maternity pictures.  This is where we went downhill... and fast.  Grace didn't want anything but to be held and kept saying "I done!"  I was pulling out every bribe in the book (staying up late, rice krispy treats, more playtime outside... you name it, I tried it!) Jacob was no being cooperative, which made me a little more happy. 

Let's just say I was very disappointed... never got the adorable picture I wanted of Grace sitting on the number 2 block with her black and white dress on.  Never got a picture of them in their 2nd outfit together.  Never got more than one shot of them with my belly.  

I picked out my pictures... and sobbed the whole way home.  Did they realize that I spent weeks trying to find the perfect outfits for them?  Did they realize how tired I was, yet how perfect I wanted these to be so we could share them with friends and family? Did they realize I had their hair looking FANTASTIC?  Nails cut, bathed, etc, etc, etc?  No... of course they didn't realize this, how could I expect them too?  They are so young! 

I didn't let Jacob have any treats when we got home, no Mickey Mouse, nothing.  He went to bed crying just as hard as me.  I felt horrible... how could I make him feel so bad?  He is such a sensitive soul, and never likes to see anyone hurting.  I was just sad... frustrated... disappointed (in myself).  I know this isn't a glorious Mom moment... nothing exciting, happy, or a pat on the back.  But sometimes we all need to hear others aren't perfect.  I'm not perfect... far from it.  I hope it is obvious that we ALL have days we are not proud of as part of our journey through motherhood.